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Agent 1-4-9's avatar

I'm not Amish, but my wife and I have 11 children, 9 boys, 2 girls. Our youngest son has 2 nieces older than him. I'm in my 60s and already have 25 grandchildren, most of whom live close by, and we see them on a regular basis. Our youngest is 12 and we have 6 unmarried children. I expect to reach the 100 grandkids mark.

I grew up with only one sibling but my wife's family (also not Amish) is large. The family dynamics are exactly like you describe. Not one of my wife's siblings have ever divorced, and they in turn have large families. One brother has 15 kids and another has 13! I watched my wife's parents' health rapidly decline in their early 90s, needing around the clock care. With 125 grandkids and 50 great-grandkids, there was always someone to provide that care. So could this be the default dynamics of large families regardless of religious affiliation?

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J. Adam Kane's avatar

Great to read, thanks. Where I live around the finger lakes of New York State, there are large, Amish and Mennonite communities. It always makes me happy to see them out and about, or on their properties doing what they do. It feels like Hope for the future for Christian North America, even though my religious doctrine is quite different from theirs.

And our circles, (Reformed), we often see families with 5 to 8 children. The social control and cultural expectations are far less coherent among us, but I am hoping that changes over the course of the next couple generations. Reading this post, several times I experienced a bit of revulsion at the idea of people being “trapped“ in a community like the Amish with no other option, especially thinking of the women. I have to consciously realize that that reaction is a conditioned response. Frightening that someone as in love with traditional European and North American values as I am still has the instinct to eschew the very cultural mindset that would retain traditional culture for us. There is much for us to overcome if we are going to survive.

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